Just a Thought..

When we were in our younger days.. our childhood i would say, we don't even know that the word 'death' exist.. Somehow, as we grow up, the word was used a few times in stories.. however it has no impact on us.. not until death hits us by attacking one of our dearly beloved..

Honestly, i've never give much thought about death.. not until my grandma passed away last year.. for the first time i've actually felt the lost.. sure i went to a funeral of my uncle before but that time i was really young and i wasnt close to him.. my grandma however was like the only grandparent i had throughout my childhood until my teenage years..

During her funeral.. i can see everyone trying to be strong.. especially those who had been with her for so long.. my mother and her siblings.. in the end, a lost is a lost.. they would break down at a point.. so would i..

At a point, i know she went somewhere better than this place.. up safe in Heaven in the arms of God.. i know it was good for her as she was paralyzed and has been suffering for a month after she got the stroke.. it's a blessing i would call it.. i broke down hearing the news about her death when i was in the University of Malaya, in a function.. when i got home and saw her in her coffin, i felt sadness though i did not cry.. I am assured that she's with God and she's happy..

Other times i cried was because i could feel the sadness of many people in the funeral especially when my mother cried.. i would cry along with her.. not because i was sad.. it's because she was sad..

This morning, a friend of mine told me her grandma passed away too.. i felt a pang of pity and remembered my grandma instantly.. As i was taking a shower this morning, this thought came up..

We're growing up and we're growing fast.. Time flows without stopping and it can never ever once stop for us.. every second passes without mercy.. As we grow, the elders leave.. leaving another generation to grow in their place.. Just as we would leave and our younger generation would one day take our place.. i know.. my thoughts are deep.. sometimes i can't control it from going deeper...

Hahahaha.. i'm pouring my thoughts out for the first time in my blog.. i just wanted to share about how i feel about death and also about what i think about life..